May 03
Nineteen months of pregnancy and all she has to show for it is a nine-pound, thirteen-ounce baby girl with the name of a middle-aged man.
Congratulations, Maxwell Drew Johnson, and good luck with the rest. At least you aren’t inside Jessica Simpson anymore.
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Mar 30
things i do when i fangirl:
- smile until jaw feels like breaking
- make seizure-like body movements
- make random hand gestures
- if alone, scream loudly
- if not alone, scream internally
- if doesn’t care, scream anyway
- run around the house then back
- weep
- weep but don’t let tears fall
- make some ugly noises that are actually supposed to sound happy
- hug something
- claw something
- pull hair
- sigh
- try saying something but turns out incoherent no matter what
- just shake head if unsure of what to exactly do
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